You leave me with question marks in my head.
Sometimes i wanna cry for you, sometimes i wanna laugh at you.

Peanut butter,

If you are ever so sticky, (like as proven to be) will you please donate some to me so i can play some darts? Or better still, pull the both of us together and let us get uncontrollably stuck to one another. Yayness!

Really..

Where is your magic, peanut butter?
Oh how i miss my peanut butter...
I love u bee.
I'm holding on tight,
and i'm not gonna let you down.

I'll give you everything.
Everything.
I dont need to rely on others.
I dont need to feel emotional.
I dont need to cry after being punched in the face.
I dont need to go on and on about what youve done wrong.
I dont need to whine or bitch like a dumb blonde.
I dont need to dress up all frilly and pretty to show you i'm hot.

Do not mess with me.
I train and i work hard.
I know that i am sexy and i dont need anyone to tell me so.
You cant have my body anyways..

So fuck off.
Symmetry - Mew

Listen to music here.

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind,
But I'm not happier than you.

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind,
But I'm not happier than you.

Did I really see you, or was it a dream?

In that it was seamless,
Not a trace of wrong.

Words that we have spoken
Little did we know

No bigotry, no tears shed.
Oh, if only...

You tried to be polite,
Thinking you were right,
Only to find that you're unkind.

But ironically,
You will always be
Belle of the ball,
At least to me.

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind,
But I'm not happier than you.

But my words are frail, not
Audible, they do...

Not even convince me.
Perhaps they are untrue.

Truly with you the worst is
Always true, and I gave

You all the benefits,
Of all the doubts I had.

Never hope to be
As benign as me.
Funny how you
Always get through.

But ironically,
You will always be
Belle of the ball,
At least to me.
:D
Went swimming. The first time in gazillion years. It was seriously refreshing. Thought about lotsa things and it helped.

When i wanted to do something before, i would only do it if someone does it with me. For instance if i wanted to go to the gym, id only go if i had company. Right now, i shop alone, tan alone, swim alone and what else? Maybe in the future, i'll conquer bukit timah hill alone. :) It is perfect.

I'm gonna hold your hand tighter. I'm gonna kiss you harder. Im gonna trust and love you like i never have before.

I am gonna handle my own life. I no longer wake at 12pm on my off days coz i dont wanna waste my mornings. My off days will be spent under the sun, washing my clothes, tidying up my room and running little errands for myself. I will not let you complain - or rather, there will be no room for anymore complaints from you because i will be, more responsible. I will make myself be that. If i really want it, i can get it done.

Honestly, i feel doing a bit of sports regularly really helps me in life. Somehow it just links you know? (Shit it's complicated to explain) Before, i was like really lazy. Sleeping till late afternoon, hanging with friends at starbucks over coffee till late. I just got lazier and lazier. I guess i hafta cross over challenges in a sport. And that kinda helps me in my current life. More outdoors! Mozzies beware! I'm no longer afraid of you! ARrRrr! :D
Passed by this usual playground with two cute little swings on the way back home. Thought id just give it a go. Closed my eyes and the feeling immediately blew me away. I felt like pushing myself as high as i could, then let myself go, to see where the wind would take me. I wonder how itll feel like, just letting the wind guide me. And i'll be floating, drifting..

I like being happy. At least i try my best to be. Anything negative will be pushed aside and will be ignored, despite knowing the fact that it wont disappear. Now i understand why introverts are introverts, or why losers are losers. If they speak up, then they will be laughed at. That's what they're so afraid of.

Maybe i should cut the cord or something. I'm too heavy to carry aren't i? Just give me a nudge. Let me know. I wont toss the dice anymore.

So fast, and its already a friday.
So puzzling.
Zero intention to ignite a spark.
Amazing how nothing leads to something.

The chorus is deafening.
It is throbbing like a spear,
Right through my chest.

Hits me again and again.
Embrace it again and again.
Ice, numbs you again and again.

Fickle bites into your skin.
A flu that comes and goes.
The pages left unturned.

Why?
Our beautiful planet is round.
Unpredictable are the souls that live.

So hot and warm.
So addictive, so desirable.
So pretty, so feared.

The intangible progresses,
It is peaceful and fruitful.
To be tangible, it's uncertain.

Enough.

The eyes are ready, to admit defeat
from the earlier trials of the day.
Goodnight lovelies.
Goodnight honeybees.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.

Touch.
Let your hands disappear underneath.
On fire.
It burns. It hurts.

Selfish.
I want to hold onto your hands forever.
And ever.
And ever. It hurts.

i love you.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.

Smile.
The things we do to make us laugh.
Sacrificed and unexplained.
You.

Tried my hardest,
Honeybee.
Stings,
To know itll never be july again.

Still.

i love you.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.

Honeybee.
Nothing will ever be smooth sailing in this life. Who doesn't know that? But there are just so many rocks obstructing your view; some are hidden and some suddenly gets in your way. How do you pass these things, really? You don't shield yourself from them, although you know they can really injure you. Maybe it's because you owe them everything and it's your fault everything is this way. Are you gonna open your eyes?

How many times does it have to repeat itself? You just don't know how to prevent things from fucking up do you? You just let it fly past without any goodbyes and pray hard things would get better. This is not the Animaniacs babe.

Now you start to shiver. Now you feel it don't you? It's like you're in a friggin freezer, but you're still trying to rub your hands together nevertheless and it doesn't change the fact that you're in a freezer. You're trying but no one believes that you are. It's happening too often, i doubt you even remember what the real deal is anymore.

Give it up already.

You should cycle more often. It helps kill most of the negative cells in your body. The off roads, the scenery, the adrenaline, the nature, the confidence. Man, you just wish you could share this with.....

You've taught yourself not to cry. Be careful coz you might just forget how to.. Don't let it sink in..
I predict, lotsa high and really sharp bumps ahead. I also predict alot of things unexplainable to be well, still unexplainable. Ha.

Hello there. It's the time of the year again. No it's not Christmas nor is it my birthday. Suddenly, the tension is sinking in and it seems harder to get through obstacles. Oh well.. I'm PMSing..

Idiot.

Make up your mind where you wanna go bitch. Cant really compare or say much since ive done far worse to you in my life. Yes, words cut like a knife but ive gotta make do. Brain's gone really dead coz somehow i cant really think anymore. It's either this or that. Sometimes it's not even what i want.

Gotta start enjoying each day. gotta start looking forward to good days. Also, i gotta not take things too seriously or id just get bitten deeper.

Hey hey, my my.

You leave me with question marks in my head.
Sometimes i wanna cry for you, sometimes i wanna laugh at you.

Peanut butter,

If you are ever so sticky, (like as proven to be) will you please donate some to me so i can play some darts? Or better still, pull the both of us together and let us get uncontrollably stuck to one another. Yayness!

Really..

Where is your magic, peanut butter?
Oh how i miss my peanut butter...